Friday, January 15, 2016

Checkout 5 Types of 'zones' UNIOSUN Girls Put Guys Into.

            In this life when it comes to relationship, it is either you are the girl’s boyfriend or not, it is either she is interested in you or not. In the process of trying to impress or getting a girl’s attention to yourself, a lot of guys have ended up in different "zones" entirely different from what they hoped for. 

 The purpose of this article is to help guys identify the various "zones" that girls put guys and if you’re a victim you can get yourself out ASAP!!!. The “zones” are as follows;

1.       FRIEND ZONE: According to Wikipedia, the Friend zone refers to a "Platonic relationship" wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other person does not. The dreaded friend zone is one of every guy’s worst nightmare. If you have struggled getting even one lady to become intimate with you then you KNOW what the friend zone feels like. If you have been a victim of this dreaded zone, you will know what it feels to have a false thought that the babe dey feel your parole, usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love not returned. There is nothing worse than putting yourself out there for one girl and she then tells you "I love you too, but I don't want to ruin a great relationship by dating you, you are my bestie", why the fuck did I waste two months on you!!!! Bros am sorry you are the Chairman of the Friend Zone Association of Nigeria. Once a girl decides you are her friend there’s nothing changing that, Game don finish be that!!!. On to the next one.

  2.     BROTHER ZONE: This is another type of the dreaded zone, this occurs when you confess your feelings to the girl you like, and she turns you down by saying "you are like an Older or Younger brother figure to me", Chai!!! am sorry man but you are soooo done. Ok, just imagine this, have you ever thought of having sex or dating your sister?? hell no right?? that's because you don’t find her sexually attractive, it is also the same case here, she will NEVER find you sexually attractive, so she no fit date you!, the best you will get is a peck on your cheek. Sad right??. A girl once told me she was going to see her brother, and I asked her if she has a brother around here, and she said " he is my Brother Zoned brother" Chai! Guys don suffer o.

    3.      BLOOD ZONE: This is a entirely Different type of zone, if you know what Blood means in Yoruba language, it means "eje", she’s got absolutely no feeling for you because you are like Blood to her i.e you come from the same Blood line and you are like family to her, shey u fit date your Cousin ni?? so Bros she no go ever date you.

                        Guy: "Babe I am so in love with you, I have always wanted to tell you".
                       Girl: "’re so sweet but am so sorry, I can’t be in a relationship with you because you are like Blood to me, you are the only Family I have here, I’m so sorry". 

   4.      TEACHER ZONE: Apparently this is new type of zone that I have discovered, some guys make the mistake of getting a girl to like them by advising them about life, relationships, religion, academics. You don become shrink, na you be the adviser, when you are dying in silence because of the love and feelings you have for this girl. So when people like this asks their supposed babe out you will hear response like " you have been always been there for me and you give the best advice, you are like a Teacher to me". Omo If na me them give this response, I’ll call my pastor and tell him that i have spiritual problem, haba Teacher?? Seriously any girl that gives this response is a Serial Killer in the making, so please beware of these girls because they will shatter you heart(if you’ve got one though) into shreds. 

   5.      SCHOOL FATHER ZONE: This is another nightmare zone, this type of zone involves asking a girl who is younger or is in a lower level, you have been close to this girl for about a one or two, even buy her stuffs and take her to IMMACULATE to chop pepper soup, and you eventually asks her out and her response is like “I can’t date you, but I like you, you are like a father figure to me, in fact you are my school father” hahahahaha, 

            In conclusion, not that the girls are the only ones to blame for these zones but guys are also to be blamed, i mean, Bros you too nice!!!!!, you can't always be nice to girls, because you want to impress a girl you take her to Captain Cook and Immaculate, u sef don chop for their before, we suppose dey knock some guys head sef, you can't always give them what they want, am sure girls don’t even like it, it kills their attraction for you. 

           As a guy do not ever let anybody take you for granted, you are too handsome, intelligent, funny to be Zoned by one girl, there are girls out there that would kill to have you, and lastly, to the ladies, why let a guy think he has a chance with you when you don’t even have any feelings for him, you don’t have to string him along, just tell him politely.

Written By; Kunmilade Sanda (BLEECH CREW)
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